Putting Yourself Out There

Image by 정훈 김 from Pixabay

 
As a writer, I am always looking for ways to get myself and my work out to potential readers. Doing things online can be beneficial, but getting out and meeting people face to face can also be beneficial.

However, this process isn’t always easy, especially because I have anxiety and depression. Some days I’m scared to death and imagine that others will think I’m a fraud or ridiculous or have nothing of value to say. Other days, I’m too tired to even try.

The first year after we moved to Nebraska, both anxiety and depression had a huge impact on me. It was hard to do much of anything, let alone get out and interact with people. Seriously, I couldn’t even write without having a panic attack, so attending conferences or conventions wasn’t even an option.

I slowly got back into going to conventions, and the first one I participated in was O! Con in Omaha. After being there, I realized how much I missed that environment and mingling with people. I decided I needed to get back on the horse.

This year has been my year. So far, I’ve been to Crypticon in Seattle and O! Con in Omaha. Both were so much fun. I hope I get to go back next year. I’m already brainstorming some new panels/discussions!

In addition, I get to participate in the Wyoming Author Day in Torrington in August. I will also be going to the MAPACA conference in Philly. This one is much more research and literary based, but it’s still a lot of fun. The last time I was there was several years ago. This year’s theme is zombies, and Philly is where George Romero started, so you know I had to go.

I also have a library presentation set up for October, as well as participating in a state conference. I can’t tell you how excited I am! All of these are going to be so much fun, and I get to hang out with people who have the same interests I do!

If you’ve never been to a conference or a convention, I highly recommend checking one out. You don’t have to dive right in and start doing presentations or workshops (although you can if you want). Being a face in the crowd and attending panels or oohing and aahing over celebrities can be a lot of fun too.

In case you were wondering, there is a difference between a convention and a conference. While both can be educational, a conference is usually geared more toward research and people sharing their work. A convention is when people dress up as their favorite characters and meet famous people.

Both can be a great way to mingle and meet some amazing people, and both have the opportunity to learn new things—they just do it in very different ways.

Now, please don’t think that going to conferences and conventions has cured me of my ailments. They haven’t. I still get incredibly anxious before going “on stage” at these things. Being nervous is to be expected, but having anxiety means I go from being okay to thinking the world is going to end in about 1/10 of a second.

They can be incredibly exhausting, which can lead to depression and feeling like no one is listening to what I have to say or they don’t really care.

However, they do help in breaking me out of my shell. They allow me to feel like I have a place and a voice in this world. It may only be for a weekend, but sometimes that’s all I need. It’s really nice to get out and do something I enjoy. I will never be fully free of anxiety and depression, but conventions and conferences help me find new ways to cope and get me outside of my head.

The OPCA Conference

First of all, I would like to apologize for not blogging last week. I fell ill and spent the day recovering. I’m really trying to get back in the habit of getting my posts done early, but life doesn’t always work that way.

Anywho, let’s get on with the post.

At the end of March, I had the opportunity to go to Honolulu to the OPCA Conference to give my Women and Slasher Films presentation. I had never been to Hawai’i before, and neither had my kids, so it also doubled as a vacation. For pictures of the fun we had, check out my blog here.

The conference was held at Chaminade University and was pretty small. It spanned two days—Friday and Saturday—and there were 7 panels on Friday and 6 on Saturday. On Friday, they also showed a rough cut of a new film that is coming out about the history of hot rodding in Hawai’i. I didn’t stay to watch it. I’m sure it was fascinating, but it wasn’t really something that interested me.

The panels I did go to were incredibly fascinating. I love going to conferences. Seeing what others are working on and meeting new people is so much fun. Plus, it’s an opportunity to talk academia and be a nerd—two things I really enjoy.

My presentation was on Saturday, and there were two other people on my panel. One was discussing the HBO series True Blood, which was fascinating. I’ve never watched True Blood, but now I’m intrigued. The other presenter was an engineer who had designed a sustainable house for the zombie apocalypse. It was so cool. 

I think I did fairly well for my presentation. It’s always hard for me to tell, but no one yelled at me or stormed out of the room, so I take that as a good sign.

If given the chance, I would definitely go again. Small or not, the conference had a lot to offer was so much fun. And it was Hawai’i, how could that be bad?

One of the Many Reasons I Hate Traveling

I’m not an adventurous person. I much prefer living vicariously through characters in books and on film. With that being said, you can imagine how much I don’t like traveling. I realize that it stresses most people out, but it also fills me with anxiety and panic.

From March 23-26, I was supposed to be in Seattle for the PCA/ACA conference. I was scheduled to give my Women and Slasher Films presentation on Thursday at 9:45. I was super excited to go!

As is typical out West, we get hellacious spring storms. I received a message on my phone Tuesday morning that we would be under a winter storm warning from midnight that day until 6:00 Wednesday evening. Since my flight left at 11:00 on Wednesday morning, I decided to head down a night early so I wouldn’t get trapped in Wyoming.

I checked what the weather was supposed to be like in Denver, and they were under a winter storm warning too, but they weren’t supposed to get as much snow as we were. I figured I would still be able to get out, so off I went.

When I woke up Wednesday morning, the world was blanketed in swirling white. Not only was it snowing, it was also blowing. I was up by 6:00 so I could shower and partake in the free breakfast at the hotel. My plan was to leave for the airport around 9:00 or 9:30, but after seeing the weather, I figured I should head out a bit earlier. I decided to leave at 8:00.

Getting to my vehicle was an adventure. The snow pelted me in my face, and I had to clean a few inches of wet, heavy snow off my windows. And it was still coming down. Still, I was optimistic.

As I pulled onto the main road that led to the highway, I got stuck in a line. I figured there had been an accident, so I got into the other lane, which was actually moving. It didn’t take me long to realize that I needed to be in the not-moving lane, so I flipped a U-y and got back into the line. Where I sat.

At one point, I happened to glance into my rearview mirror and saw a black truck sliding sideways toward me. No doubt the driver hadn’t been prepared for the line (which would have been hard to see through the snow) and had to slam on his brakes. I immediately tensed and waited for the impact. Thankfully, it never came.

I honestly can’t tell you how long I sat in that line, but it was long enough for panic to set in. I was texting my husband and my mom that I wasn’t going to make my flight. I wasn’t even sure I was going to make it to the airport. Finally, the line moved. I had been right: there had been an accident. And it was on the on-ramp for the highway. I was rerouted several miles up the road to another street that connected with the highway that took me to the airport.

The weather wasn’t improving at all at this point, and the roads were covered in snow. Traffic was moving at most 30 mph on roads with normal speed limits of 75 mph. My knuckles were beyond white as I gripped the wheel. I keep plodding along, though. What else could I do? I was committed at this point.

I was behind several vehicles on the road with snow covering the signs. I had my phone with directions on my lap, but since I was so focused on not running into anyone, I missed the exit for the airport. I just about lost my mind. I had to travel a few miles up to the next exit, on the most craptastic roads you’ve ever seen, then turn around and head back.

Cars were off the road everywhere. I passed two semis that had jackknifed into the median. The red and blue flashing of highway patrol lights barely cut through the fog and snow. My heart was in my throat.

Finally, I made it to the airport. When I was halfway there, I had received a text from the airline that my flight had been rescheduled to 3:50 that afternoon, but since I was already committed to getting to the airport, I decided to keep going. Where else was I going to go? At least there I would have bathrooms, food, and places to plug in my electronics. Plus, it would relieve some of my stress.

I parked in the economy lot, at the end farthest away from the main terminal. If I could have gotten closer, I would have, but that was my only choice. Braving the winds and dragging my suitcase through slush, I headed in. 

 
I was able to check in and get through security in about 5 minutes. It was the fastest I’d ever gotten through at DIA. I was still optimistic that I was going to make it to Seattle. I found my gate, then went and got some coffee and some food. Pulling out my computer, I decided to get some work done while I waited.

After a while, I headed back to the gate. There had been some announcements over the intercom about flights, so I wanted to see what the status of mine was. I went up to the desk, and they put me on a waiting list to maybe get me out earlier than 3:50. I then went and sat back down.

I never made it to Seattle. A little while after talking to the ticket agents, the entire airport shut down. No flights in or out. In addition, the road in and out of the airport was also closed due to the snow. I was trapped.

So, I did the only thing I could do: I stood in line to get a refund on my ticket. I was in line for more than an hour, but since I couldn’t go anywhere, it didn’t matter. At least I was warm and safe.

After that, I had to go to the main terminal to get my bag. If I could have stayed at the gate, I would have. There were a lot less people and more food options. I could have found a place to settle in and sleep. But I couldn’t leave my bag.

By the time I got my bag and was standing in line for food, the road out of the airport had opened and my husband had found me a hotel for the night. You have no idea how happy I was. I hadn’t been looking forward to sleeping in the airport, but I would have done what I had to do. At least I had my toothbrush.

I started my trek to the farthest regions of the economy lot. Part of the parking lot had been plowed, with the exception of where my Jeep was parked. The snow had drifted, so I had to walk through snow that came up to my knees, and I couldn’t drag my suitcase through it. Needless to say, I got my workout in for that day. When I finally got into the Jeep and had it started, I had to break through a drift, rolling backward and forward multiple times to finally get through the snow.

At this point, irritation, exhaustion, and anxiety were taking their toll. I drove to the exit to find chaos. Apparently, the gates wouldn’t open, so we were stuck. I lost it at that point. I started crying. Eventually, maintenance workers made it so the gates would open, and I was off to snow-covered-road hell.

I am ever so thankful that I have a 4-wheel-drive vehicle, but even that doesn’t make me super comfortable on crappy roads. I was gripping the wheel so tight, my hands were cramping. It took me maybe 40 minutes to get to the hotel, but it felt like an eternity. There were many moments when I just wanted to pull over and say f*ck it. I wanted to wait for a tow truck to take me to the hotel, but I knew it wouldn’t happen. I knew they were busy, so I had to keep going.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I broke into tears again. I was shaking so bad, I could barely sign the paperwork. At this point, I was hoping that my adventure was over. I had made it. The sun was out, and the snow was starting to melt. Everything was going to be all right. But nooooooo! Here are the other “fun” things I had to endure:

• As I stepped off the curb to head to the Jeep to get my suitcase, I thought I was stepping onto solid snow. Instead, it was slush, and I soaked my jeans up to my knees.

• There were a series of restaurants within walking distance of my hotel, and since I didn’t want to drive again, I decided to check them out. They were all closed. Once again on the verge of tears, I decided to find the closest gas station and take the food back to my room. 

• I had tried to order a pizza and have it delivered, but they weren’t delivering because of the road conditions.

• All I wanted to do was relax and watch TV, but the storm had knocked out a tower, so there was no TV.

• Thankfully, there was wifi, so I logged into Netflix and watched Z Nation.

The next morning when I headed out, I stopped at a gas station to get gas, only to find there was no gas. I went to the next one, and they didn’t have gas either. I broke into tears about that, also. I finally got gas several miles up the road. However, the first pump I pulled up to was broken.

When I finally made it to Cheyenne, I found out that the road was closed to Laramie because of an accident. I decided to bide my time by doing some shopping, then having lunch at Red Lobster. When the roads were still closed, I backtracked about 30 miles to take a cutoff and come home by a divided highway.

A 2-hour trip took me 5 hours to get home, but I made it. If this taught me anything, it’s that my travel window is from the end of May until August—and that’s it!

Now THIS Was a Conference!

I had the opportunity to go to the MAPACA conference at the beginning of November. I was giving my Women and Slasher Films presentation on Saturday, so that gave me all day on Friday to attend panels and soak in what people were researching and working on. I wasn’t disappointed.

There were so many different panels I had the opportunity to attend. I went to one where the panelists talked about different things from WWII. One presentation was about some sculptures in Greece that were tributes to the Greek soldiers and the victims of German brutality. That was incredibly fascinating.

Another panelist talked about the accessibility of WWII photos online and how that is both good and bad, while another panelist talked about women’s roles in the war and how they were portrayed by Hollywood. I didn’t get to see the end of that presentation because it ran over and I had to get to my next panel, but the part I saw was incredibly fascinating.

There was also a panelist that talked about journalists during the Civil War and how they impacted and changed reporting during times of war. It was something I had never even thought about previously, so I learned something new.

There were quite a few horror panels that I had the opportunity to attend. The overarching theme of one was how the familiar becomes frightening, so the panelists talked about The X Files and representations of the South; the vampire Lestat in both books and film; and Pet Semetary, the book more than the movie. They were fascinating.

Another horror panel I went to had panelists that talked about Nazi zombie movies, and the presenter pointed out how surprised she was at how many existed and how many of them weren’t very good. The other presenter talked about the color of horror and how films use color or lack thereof to create mood and atmosphere. Both of those were also incredibly interesting.

I’m not diving into too much detail about each presentation because I could go on and on about how fantastic they were—and they really were. I learned a lot listening to all of these presenters, and I was amazed at what people chose to study. I love how passionate they were about their subjects. I get the same way in my research, and it’s always wonderful to hang out with like-minded people and bounce ideas and passions off one another.

This was exactly what I enjoy most about conferences. It’s a group of intellectual people getting together and sharing ideas and inspiring others. Not that Long Beach didn’t have intellectual people, it did, the format was just different.

MAPACA was what I expect conferences to be like. It had a registration table, I got a badge and a schedule, and I decided which talks/presentations sounded interesting and attended them. There were discussions afterward, and the attendees were able to ask questions. There was also networking that occurred, and friendships were formed.

I did this conference on my own; my mom didn’t go with me like she went to Long Beach. It was incredibly nerve-wracking, but it turned out fine. The day I drove to the airport, I was incredibly anxious, and I spent all morning taking deep breaths and convincing myself that I could do it.

My stomach was in knots, and the voice in my head was screaming that I should just stay home. The weather wasn’t cooperating. It had snowed the night before, so part of the highway I had to travel on had black ice and snow pack, and the speed limit was 45 mph.

Still, I trudged on. I knew that once I got there, everything would be fine.

For the most part, it was. I was still nervous when I got to the airport because I hate flying, but I had helpers if I needed them. On the way out, I actually didn’t need them. I was pretty proud of myself. The flight home was a different story. Nothing bad happened, but I was leaving early and my nerves were in overdrive. I couldn’t keep the anxiety down, so I had a little help.

I didn’t do any sightseeing or touristy stuff while in Philly, mainly because I didn’t have a lot of time—I wanted to be at the conference—but also because I’m not an overly adventurous person, especially when I’m by myself. I figured I needed to ease myself into the experience. Maybe next time I’ll do something fun and check out the sights.

All in all, I was really pleased with how the experience turned out. It was more in line with what I thought a conference should be, and I was inspired and excited to be there. I was asked to come back next year and do some more panels, and I’m seriously considering it. It’s in Atlantic City, so that will be a new adventure. I’m also thinking I can convince others to go with me—not to the conference, but to take in the other sights.

One More to Go

Holy crap, folks! October has been a ridiculously busy month. I was traveling so much to promote myself and my works, I didn’t have a free weekend—until Halloween!

I love getting out and doing presentations and workshops and meeting new people, but it’s also incredibly exhausting. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I get incredibly anxious when I travel, so this entire month has threatened to push me into panic mode. I’ve overcome, though, and had some amazing adventures.

I have one more conference to go to this year, and I’ll be in Philadelphia at the end of this week for the Mid-Atlantic Popular & American Culture Association conference. I will be speaking about Women and Slasher films and also doing a 5-minute presentation about being undead obsessed and finding meaning in zombies.

I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I think I’m handling this trip better than the Long Beach trip—I had nightmares for 2 weeks before that trip. I had a nightmare a few weeks ago and one last night, so maybe? I’ll let you know how it goes.

In addition to this exciting adventure that’s coming up, I also had an outstanding weekend.

Because our sleds are new, we had to take them out for a break-in ride. There wasn’t a ton of snow, but we found enough to ride in. I hadn’t realized how much I missed riding until I got out. There’s something so magical about not having anything to worry about except cruising through the snow. It was incredibly therapeutic.

Zed (my sled; zombie + sled = Zed; plus, it pays homage to so many zombie films) did awesome! I’m looking forward to more snow so I can see exactly what she can do.

While we’re in the hills, we don’t have any cell service, so I turned off my phone for a while. When I got back into town, I turned it back on and saw that I had an email from my amazing book manager (hi, Pam!).

Apparently, Life After the Undead was in the top 100 for certain categories. According to the email, here was the breakdown:

#73,634 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

#94 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Children's eBooks > Science Fiction, Fantasy & Scary Stories > Science Fiction > Dystopian

#95 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Children's eBooks > Action & Adventure > Survival Stories

#143 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Children's eBooks > Science Fiction, Fantasy & Scary Stories > Scary Stories

What?! It was freaking insane! I wanted to scream and cry and happy dance all at the same time. None of my books have ever ranked that high, so it was incredibly exciting. I’m still floating on air from the experience.

There’s a lot of really exciting things happening. I’m giddy. I’m going to ride this wave of amazement for as long as I can. I hope that you all are having a fabulous time as well.

The Conference Adventure Continues

Part 1 of my conference adventure can be read here.

As one would expect from the title Long Beach Indie Film Festival, a lot of movies are played. They started on Wednesday and went through Sunday.

We did not take part in all of those events. My mom and I showed up on Thursday night (well, technically, very early Friday morning), then left Sunday morning. I would have enjoyed staying the entire time, but my work schedule and pocketbook couldn’t handle it.

My registration fee gave me the option of going to the films, and I’m sure they were amazing, but I decided I wanted to explore the area instead. I’d never been to Long Beach, so I wanted to do some touristy stuff.

My mom and I were both up early the next day, only because we have been conditioned to be early risers (thank you so much, kids and dogs!). However, the view from the window made it all worth it. We headed down for breakfast and sat on the veranda, and when we finished, I saw a dolphin playing in the water (I couldn’t get a picture of it; it was too unpredictable). I love dolphins. They are such amazing animals, so seeing one started my day out right.

This was the view from our hotel room.

This was the view we had every morning from the veranda while we ate breakfast.

My mom got online to check out what our touristy options were, and we decided to go see the Queen Mary and the aquarium. As luck would have it, we were able to buy combo tickets that got us into both places. We decided to check out the Queen Mary first.

I’m not gonna lie, the size of the ship was incredibly surprising to me. It was like a freaking floating city! We had the options of doing a guided tour, a recorded tour, or a ghosts and legends tour. Guess which one I picked. 

 
Yep! Ghosts and legends. You know me and horror. I can’t pass it up.

The tour didn’t start until 11:00, and we had some time to kill, so we headed onto the ship to check things out. We didn’t do much, just sat around waiting for the tour to start, assuming they would let us know. As 11:00 ticked by, I became concerned. We decided to ask what was going on, and we discovered we had been waiting in the wrong area!

I was devastated. We tried to find the tour group, but I had no idea where they had gone. I went back to the check in and told them we couldn’t find them. I wanted to cry. I was looking so forward to the tour. The woman behind the counter was so nice. She changed our tickets so we could go on the 12:00 tour, and we made sure we were in the right spot when that started.

We weren’t expecting much. In fact, we were expecting it to be like a haunted house, and that’s exactly what we got. Mom and I laughed practically through the whole thing. I won’t lie, I did get a little scared. It was so dark at the bottom of the ship, I thought for sure I was going to trip on something. Thankfully, I didn’t.

At one point, while going through a dark hallway, I fought back the urge to freak out the rest of the tourists. My mom and I were at the head of the group, and we were traveling pretty fast, and I wanted to start screaming like a banshee just to worry them, but I refrained.

After that tour ended, we explored the ship a little more, got lost for a while (which is surprising since it’s a freaking ship and there’s only so many places we could go, but we accomplished it), then headed back to the aquarium.

I have pretty high standards when it comes to aquariums. I’ve been to the one in Denver multiple times, and it’s awesome. It sets the standards for how aquariums should be. I must say, the Aquarium of the Pacific held its own. It was fantastic!

We learned about jelly fish, saw a sea lion show, I pet some sharks, and so much more. The entire time I kept saying, “The boys would love this!” And they totally would have. It was so cool.

This was a giant stingray in the shark tank.  I did not pet it.

These were some sharks in the shark tank.  I didn't pet them, either.

Stingrays and bonnet heads in the shark petting pool.  I touched one of the bonnet heads.

Zebra shark in the shark petting pool.  I touched this one, too.

We finally called it a day and got back to the hotel after 4:00. We were both exhausted at this point, so after a power nap, we had dinner, sat by a fire on the beach, then headed up to bed. I waited for 9:00 to roll around, then fell asleep.

The Conference

On Saturday, my plan was to spend the entire day at the conference. We got to the convention center a little after 9:00. We asked one of the employees where we were supposed to go, and they directed us to the far side of the building, so we headed down.

The email I had received earlier in the week said I needed to check in, so I was looking for a check-in table. I couldn’t find one, so we consulted the email again. It said registration was supposed to take place outside the ballroom, which was located upstairs, so we headed up. There were tables up there and a person behind them, but they weren’t part of the conference. They were set up for a funeral. That was no help.

On the way in, I had noticed a sign outside that said something about the conference, so we decided to check it out. That wasn’t any help either. It was just directing traffic for parking. We headed back in, and I asked another employee where I was supposed to go.

“You’re here,” he said. “This is where it’s at.”

“Is there a registration table somewhere?” I asked, trying to keep the panic/anger/frustration out of my voice.

“That I don’t know. I’m just security.”

I had seen some people in one of the rooms earlier, so I headed in to ask if they were part of the conference. Thankfully, they were, and they informed me that they hadn’t checked in but let the organizer know they were there. I asked who that was, and they pointed him out. After saying hello and asking what I needed to do (which was nothing), I took a seat and waited for things to start.

The first panel was at 10:30. Three graduate students were going to talk about children’s television, and I was interested, so I headed in. By 11:00, the audience had arrived. It was mainly middle school and early high school kids, but the panel did their presentations. I wondered if they changed their presentations to cater to the audience, but I never asked, and they did a great job.

After that was lunch. I met my mom at the end of the convention center where they had a little food stand and we had Panini’s. After that, it was time for me to get ready. I headed to my room to prepare.

Each room was supposed to be equipped with a projector and a computer, but ours was missing the computer. We let someone know, but as time ticked closer to 1:00 and he hadn’t returned, I was brainstorming different ways to show my movie clips. I didn’t have a solution, so I figured I wouldn’t be able to show them. A computer showed up in the nick of time.

As was the theme of the day, we didn’t start at 1:00. We didn’t start until about 1:20. There were supposed to be three panelists, but one cancelled. I went first, and my presentation went awesome! The audience was engaged and seemed genuinely interested. We had some great discussions, and they asked wonderful questions. The audio didn’t work for my movie clips, but it didn’t matter; there wasn’t much to hear anyway.

I was grateful that there were only two of us because my presentation went a little long. I was allotted 15 minutes, but I think I took 30. It was worth it, though. I had a blast!

After the second panelist did her presentation, I went to one more demonstration, then Mom and I headed back to the hotel. By that point in time, I had a raging headache and just wanted to relax. We had an early dinner, then called it an early night.

The next day, we were headed back home. Our flight didn’t leave on time, but it wasn’t 3 hours late. Mom and I were picked for the TSA pre-check—which was amazing!—and we had planned ahead, so we had some time to kill in the airport. By the time we finally boarded, I was done. I just wanted to get in the car and see my babies—the furry ones and the human ones. I got home that night about 8:00.

The trip was an adventure. There were some amazingly bright spots, and that made it worthwhile. It will be interesting to see how the conference in Philadelphia goes…

A Conference Adventure

The Long Beach Indie Film Festival conference was destined to be an adventure, and it started months before I set foot on a plane.

Early in 2015, I wanted to find new ways to promote myself and my work. I thought long and hard about what I could do, then decided to try my luck attending conferences. I’ve always enjoyed going to conferences. They are an awesome place to network, geek out, and get inspired. But I decided I needed to do more than attend. I needed to present. So I searched Google for conference call for papers and submitted proposals to those I found interesting.

The Long Beach Indie Film Festival conference was one of the first ones I submitted to—way back in May 2015. I was elated when I received my acceptance. I couldn’t believe I would have the chance to present my work to people in California. I was so excited, I immediately signed up for the conference, reserved the hotel room, and got plane tickets. I wasn’t going to ruin my chances of going by not being prepared or let them change their minds.

A while later—maybe about a month or two—I received an email that said the conference had to be rescheduled because renovations to the theater that was their main venue weren’t completed. What? I thought. No way! I already have my ticket!

Frustrated and slightly sick to my stomach, I texted my mom (she was going with me) to let her know. Since we already had our tickets, we decided to pay the fee to change the flight dates. After $200 per ticket, we were set to go again. I emailed the conference coordinator to let him know I would still be there, but mentioned the dates couldn’t change again because I couldn’t afford it.

I called the hotel to let them know of the date change and to get new reservations, but the conference organizer hadn’t informed them yet of the change and therefore hadn’t signed a new contract. Since there was still plenty of time, I was told to call back later. And I did. Multiple times. And every time they told me a new contract hadn’t been signed yet. This happened probably six or seven times, and I was also emailing a hotel representative and the conference organizer so they could get the contract taken care of.

I have a Type A personality, so I like to have all of this stuff taken care of and a plan in place for traveling. I can be slightly flexible, but it’s not fun for me. It causes anxiety. This was a big deal to me to have this taken care of.

Finally, I received word that a new contract had been signed, so I called to get my reservations. There was a slight problem, however. They could get me a room at the conference price for Thursday and Friday, but Saturday they were booked.  But all was not lost. They could squeeze me in and get me a room at regular price—at over $200. What? Holy hell!

My mom decided she would see if she could find something cheaper. She did, so we decided to stay there. It was only 0.6 miles from the convention center, so it would be an easy walk. Once again, we were set up for the trip.

The Trip Begins

We left at 12:30 Thursday afternoon to get on the plane in Denver. We normally take 287 down, then take a “short cut” on a road called Owl Canyon Rd. It’s mainly dirt roads that allow us to bypass Fort Collins to get on I-25. When we got to the turn off on Owl Canyon, we realized it had been gated shut. Crap! Now what?

We had to follow the road straight and hope it hooked up with I-25. It did—but only after taking us through Fort Collins. Son of a…! The whole point was to avoid the city. Plus, there was construction, so the detour added 45 minutes to the trip. Because of my anxiety when it comes to traveling, we built in a cushion to our travel time. Thankfully, we were fine—we had plenty of time.

We finally made it to the airport and I checked my bag and down we went to security. Both my mom and I are the queens of picking the wrong line, so the first one to check our boarding passes was slower than the rest. Then, the one we picked to have our stuff scanned was slightly faster than erosion. They were training a new person, so they were scrutinizing every bag like it held lost treasure. Took.F-o-r-e-v-e-r.To.Get.Through.

Eight years later, we were free to get on the trains to head to our gate. Still, we had plenty of time—I always plan for this sort of thing—so we grabbed a snack before sitting at the gate and waiting to board.

We flew United, and they load the plane through groups. We were in group four, so we had a while to wait before it was our turn. While standing in line, the anxiety grew to panic, so I figured it was time to take my helper. I popped my pill and waited for it to kick in. It was pure bliss when it did.

Our flight was supposed to leave at 5:30, and everyone was on the plane ready to go. I like to sit in aisle seats, so I just happened to poke my head out to see what was going on in front of me. There was a guy standing in the aisle stretching his legs, and the flight attendants were milling around and preparing for takeoff.

I also noticed the captain walk out of the cockpit. Oh, man. That’s probably not good. A few minutes later, he announced that one of the defrosters on the windshield wasn’t working. It would take several hours to fix it, so we all had to deplane and they would let us know when another plane would be able to take us to LAX.

Are you kidding me? But there was nothing I could do, so I grabbed my stuff and followed the rest of the passengers off the plane.

The next flight wasn’t leaving until after 8:30, so Mom and I headed up to the United lounge. She had some free passes because she’s a frequent flyer. We passed the time as best we could, then headed down to the new gate to board the plane.

We finally left Denver at almost 9:00, so we didn’t get into LAX until late. We had done some research and discovered that a shuttle was going to be the cheapest option to get to our hotel in Long Beach, so we ordered a van and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After an hour, my mom went to ask what was going on, and she was told that a van should be on the way, but then the driver would have to agree to take us to Long Beach. WHAT?! After all this time, they could tell us no? My mom said she was giving them 15 more minutes, then we were getting a cab.

I don’t know if any of you have been to LAX before, but it is crazy—even late at night. Vehicles are constantly zipping in and out of the passenger pick-up zone, and people are going in and out of the airport. A cab wouldn’t have been hard to find.

The van showed up in the allotted time and agreed to take us. They were also taking another couple to a different hotel in the area, which was totally fine. I was incredibly exhausted at this point, so I popped in my ear buds and fell asleep.

We arrived at our hotel after 1:00 in the morning. And this was just the beginning of the excitement…

Catching Up

I have some stories to tell you about the conference, but after being gone for 4 days, I have some catching up to do.  I will share them soon!

One More Day…

Tomorrow I’m heading to Long Beach for the Long Beach Indie Film Festival. I get to give my presentation about Women and Slasher Films. I’m both excited and incredibly nervous about the whole experience.

One of the things I had to do to prepare for my presentation was cut it down from an hour to 15 minutes. I really had to think about what was important to talk about, and I won’t be able to show all of my film clips. It was a fun challenge to figure out if I could get my point across in such a short amount of time. I think I accomplished the task, and I’m interested in seeing how it turns out.

I can’t wait to get to the conference. I think it’s going to be so much fun! I always get so jazzed and inspired going to them. And I love talking to other people about our passions. Everyone once in a while I just need to geek out, and conferences let me do that.

In celebration of the upcoming geek fest, here’s the information about the book that my presentation comes from. Enjoy!

Horror and slasher films are often dismissed for their apparent lack of sophistication and dearth of redeemable values. However, despite criticism from film snobs who turn up their noses and moralists who look down upon the genre, slasher films are more than just movies filled with gory mayhem. Such films can actually serve a purpose and offer their audiences something more than split skulls and severed heads.

In Life Lessons from Slasher Films, Jessica Robinson looks at representative works that have been scaring audiences for decades—from Alfred Hitchcock’s seminal shocker, Psycho, to the cult classic Black Christmas and iconic thrillers like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Scream. In this book, Robinson examines common themes that have emerged in these films, their various sequels, and countless imitators—a maniacal and seemingly indestructible executioner, sexual encounters that invariably lead to death, increasingly gruesome ways to slaughter helpless victims, and a lone female survivor who finds a way to vanquish the killer—and looks beyond such tropes for what these films can teach us about life.

From practical advice (listen to your elders) to moral platitudes (teens never learn), each chapter considers a different “lesson” that these films teach. Robinson discusses how the events portrayed in slasher films can resonate with viewers and perhaps offer constructive advice on how to conduct our lives. A fun read for fans and scholars alike, Life Lessons from Slasher Films offers an entertaining and persuasive look at how life can imitate art, and what art can say about life.

The Joys of Conferences

I love conferences. There’s something so magical about hanging out with a bunch of like-minded people and having conversations about our passions and obsessions. It’s so amazing to have some time to just geek out.

While it’s possible to talk about my passions and obsessions with my friends, family, and coworkers, it’s different doing it at a conference. There’s a different energy and feel about it. And I’m not kidding when I say we “geek out.” I’m fairly certain that people who overhear our conversations in public think we are so weird. And I’m totally fine with that!

Last Friday and Saturday, I was asked to present at the Casper College Literary Conference. I did my Women and Slasher Film presentation, and it was so much fun!

I was really nervous when I first started. I got there 10 minutes before my presentation was supposed to start (poor planning on my driving part), and being late is a source of anxiety for me, so I was aaaaaaaaah! before I even started. I sped through my presentation a bit because I had so much nervous energy, but by the end I had calmed down somewhat and was feeling a touch more confident.

I had a good crowd. One of the English teachers at the community college had offered her students extra credit to attend, so there were quite a few students there. There were also adults (friends of mine came to see me; hi, Kara! Hi, Sarah! Thanks for coming!), along with the other presenters for the conference. All in all, I think it went really well.

The rest of the conference was just as amazing. I attended several other panels and a workshop to make a wreath out of about-to-be-recycled books. I am not a crafty person, but I still had a good time, and I don’t think it turned out horrible. 

 
I met some new, amazing people, and I’m looking forward to conversing with them further. Conferences are great for networking, and that’s part of the reason I really enjoy going—along with finding inspiration.

After this conference, I’m really looking forward to the others I have coming up. I’m excited to meet more amazing people and for the inspiration to continue. It’s going to be fun!

Calendar of Events

September marks the beginning of a busy conference/workshop schedule for me. For the next few months, I will be out and about talking about horror movies and zombies. I can’t wait!

If anyone is interested, here is the list of places I will be:

September 8: Sweetwater County Library in Green River, Wyoming

September 25-26: Lit Conference in Casper, Wyoming

October 8-11: Long Beach Indie Film Festival

October 24: Mile Hi Con in Denver, Colorado

October 29: Washakie County Library in Worland, Wyoming

October 31: Albany County Library in Laramie, Wyoming

November 5-7: Mid-Atlantic Popular & American Culture Association conference in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I’m really excited and nervous about all of these. I think they’re going to be soooooo much fun, but I have to get over my traveling fears to get there. *Deep breaths*

It’s going to be just fine. Anyone else going to any of these conferences?

What Was I Thinking?

I hate to travel. And by that I mean when I go to the airport, I usually have a panic attack. I freak out going through security, and then I have to take a Xanax before I even get on the plane.

I never used to be like that. My freshman year of college, I attended school in Florida, and I flew back and forth several times over the course of the year. It never bothered me then. In high school, I went to Australia and switched planes multiple times before reaching Perth. Didn’t bat an eye.

Now, it’s all I can do to stay calm. The older I get, the more mental I become.

(Side note: my coworkers and I were talking about this the other day at work, and one of them said that the reason it’s probably an issue now is because I’m more aware of my mortality. When I was young, the world couldn’t touch me. But now, I have different priorities—kids, family—and losing them or having them lose me is probably where the fear stems from.)

Despite this fear, I sent in proposals for two separate conferences that will be occurring in the fall. One is the Long Beach Indie Film Festival in Long Beach, California, and the other is the Mid-Atlantic Popular & American Culture Association in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Right after I hit send, my stomach started tingling and I became anxious. What was I thinking? I can’t go to these places. I’ll have to get on a plane! I’ll have to be in a big city! I’ll have to speak in front of people!

Then I took a deep breath and told myself to calm down—which only slightly worked.

The reason I put in proposals for these conferences was because the world isn’t going to come to me. People aren’t going to find out who I am just because I have books on Amazon. Sure, a few might, but I want to increase my readership. To do that, I have to tell people about what I do. I have to get out there and show them what I’m doing.

I’m fully aware that this may not lead to book sales, but it still gets me out there. People will still be able to see my name and know that I wrote something. And, on top of that, I like talking about what I’ve done.

I picked these specific conferences because they focus on film and scholarly work. My presentation is based on my book Life Lessons from Slasher Films. I am incredibly proud of the work I put into this book, but I rarely have a chance to show it off. I felt that these two venues gave me the opportunity to do just that.

It’s scary as hell, and I’ll probably wind up having a panic attack at some point, but I need to step back for a minute. First of all, I haven’t been picked yet. There’s no guarantee I’ll have to present at either of these conferences. The first step was to make the effort, and the second is to wait for a response.

Despite my fear, I really would like to get out more. Even though it scares me, I really enjoy presenting and getting people involved in discussions. The workshops I’ve done around the state of Wyoming have been fantastic, but this gives me a chance to branch out. Being at the conferences also gives me a chance to network with others who think like I do.

There are far more pros to going to these conferences than there are cons, but convincing my brain of that is sometimes difficult. I just hope that I get the chance to go. If you would be so kind as to wish me luck or cross your fingers or sacrifice a chicken so I get picked, I would really appreciate it.

UPDATE:  I received an email this morning informing me that my proposal had been accepted for the Long Beach Indie Film Festival.  Wooooooot!  This is going to be fun!