Staying Open to New Opportunities

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts that focus on knowing your worth.

The first one told a story about a guy playing the violin in the subway. He attracted the attention of some people and made a few dollars, but nothing major.

Turns out this guy was a world-famous violinist who the night before had played to a sold-out crowd at the local theater. He made a lot of money, so it wasn’t like he needed the pittance he got from the passersby in the subway.

The second was about the price of bottled water and how it varies whether you’re in Walmart, at the airport, getting it from a vending machine, etc.

The point of both of these posts was to say that where you are determines your worth. If you feel like you aren’t being recognized for your talents or your true self, then maybe you’re in the wrong place.

When I first read these, they made sense but didn’t have much of an impact.

It hasn’t been until recently that it has really hit me how true those stories are.

Doing What I Can, When I Can

I’m not particularly thrilled about where I’m currently at, but it’s not like I have the option to pick up and move. My boys have lives here, and moving teens is out of the question. I don’t need to create trauma if it’s not necessary.

So, I have to do what I can, when I can.

What does that mean?

Well, first and foremost, it means taking stock of my options. I may not be able to physically move from my location (at the moment), but I have ways of venturing outside of my current environment.

The internet allows me to be connected to people from all over the world. But I don’t frequent a lot of social sites. Places like Facebook and Instagram have become a hotbed of ickiness, which isn’t good for my mental health, so I limit my time and interactions on them.

I’m more into connecting with others on a deeper level, so I’ve gotten involved with groups. That has been an eye-opening and mainly positive experience.

I’m also looking toward the future, which is kind of a new venture for me. For so long, it was all I could do to get through the present moment, but it’s really dawned on me that the boys are getting older and their independence is starting to shine through (sometimes to my chagrin), so I’ve started thinking about what life might be like once they have moved out of the house.

Keeping an Open Mind

Since my crystal ball is broken, I have no idea what the future will actually hold, but I’ve been doing my best to keep an open mind. The world feels very unstable and unsafe at the moment, but I tell myself that it won’t last forever. I’ve also been letting the happenings sink into my being and really thinking about how I feel about what’s going on.

These moments of connecting to myself have helped me discover more about who I am and what I want out of life.

My youngest is 13, which means that in 5 years, he’s going to be moving on and living his own life.

Five years is not that long. Look how fast the past 5 years have flown by. In the blink of an eye, I’ll have my own life and need to fill it with things I enjoy.

Nothing is set in concrete at this point, but I have some ideas in mind. Of course, anything can change between then and now, but I have to say, it’s been amazing being able to dream again. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve looked beyond my current responsibilities and considered that life may be mine to live once again.

My boys are amazing, and they have kept me grounded and going for a long time, but life moves on—mine and theirs. I want them to be able to explore and do things that they are passionate about. My reward for giving them the skills and knowledge to be productive members of society will also be the opportunity to explore and engage in things I’m passionate about.

I may not know for sure what I’m going to do in the future, but I know it’s not going to be sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I’ve done that for far too long. I’m keeping the possibilities open and am excited to see what life has in store for me.

Maybe at some point, I’ll find the environment where I’m able to shine—where I’m appreciated for what I am and what I have to offer. I’m looking forward to finding that place.

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Pembroke Sinclair's books on Goodreads
Life After the Undead Life After the Undead
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ratings: 100 (avg rating 3.64)

The Appeal of Evil The Appeal of Evil (The Road to Salvation, #1)
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Wucaii Wucaii
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ratings: 35 (avg rating 4.11)

Death to the Undead Death to the Undead (Sequel to Life After the Undead)
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ratings: 39 (avg rating 4.23)

Dealing with Devils Dealing with Devils (The Road to Salvation, #2)
reviews: 22
ratings: 32 (avg rating 4.00)