Things I Don’t Want to Deal With at 4:00 a.m.

The other night, I was woken out of a dead sleep by my cat’s meowing. It was about 3:45, and in my tired brain, I thought she was trapped in a room somewhere in the house. I got up and walked around, listening for where she might be, but had no luck finding her. This, of course, woke up the dogs. I went back to bed and tried to get back to sleep, but then heard her again.

At this point, I realized she was outside, so I went to the back door to let her in. As I said, the dogs were now up, so I let them out to take care of business. I figured I’d go back to bed for a while, then get them later.

I laid down for maybe 5 minutes before getting back up to get the dogs. I stood at the back door and called them, but they didn’t come. Using my flashlight, I realized they were enthralled with something, so I went to find out what.

Turns out it was a dead rodent.

I got Floki away from it and back in the house, then when I turned to get Siggy, she had carried the thing onto the deck. She was so proud of herself. She was trotting like she just won the grand prize. I wasn’t impressed. I told her to drop it, which she did because she’s a good girl, and then I took her inside.

I grabbed some gloves, the dust pan, and a ziplock bag to put the corpse in. I stepped onto the deck and stared at the creature. It had been raining, so the fur was wet and matted to its body—although part of that was probably also from being in both dogs’ mouths—its front legs were curled up, and its eyes were closed.

Nope, I thought. I’m not dealing with this now.

I went back inside, put my supplies on the counter, and went back to bed. Where I dreamed of rodents.

When I got up later, while the dogs were eating breakfast, I grabbed the shovel and took care of the poor creature. I have no doubt the cat is the suspect in the murder. This isn’t the first time we’ve found a dead rodent at the house, and Floki found another one later that morning.

I don’t blame her. She’s just doing what comes naturally, but there are just some things I can’t deal with that early in the morning.

Focusing on the Positive…and the Adorable!

I think it’s been about a month now (maybe a little longer; I stopped keeping track!) since we’ve had Floki come into our home and a few weeks since we got Siggy. And things have been awesome!

As some of you may recall, after the incident with Rolo, I was really nervous about getting another Corgi. I wanted another fur baby in the house, but I wasn’t sure I could handle it emotionally. I’ll admit, I was pretty bad for the first few days, but things have mellowed out quite a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I still worry. I watch the dogs pretty closely and every time one of them yips or is quiet for too long, I rush to find out what’s happened. For the most part, I feel like my actions are pretty normal. I mean, they’re still puppies. It’s my job to keep them safe.

In addition to the worry, I’m also happy.

I knew when we got the dogs that they wouldn’t be Rolo. I knew they would have their own personalities and quirks. Still, it was hard not to compare them, and quite a few times, I called Floki, Rolo. But it happens less and less.

I still miss Rolo, and I think about him often, but Floki and Siggy are absolutely adorable! They’re a lot of work—they’re still babies—but they are so sweet. They can’t ever replace Rolo, but they help fill the hole he left in our hearts.

Siggy taking a nap.

Floki and Siggy playing.

Moving Forward

Earlier this week, my family and I decided that we are going to get another Corgi.  We'll be getting her from the same breeders that we got Rolo from, and it's the same parents, so technically it will be his sister from another litter.

Originally, we were going to name her Rollo, with two Ls, but I decided that Siggy sounded better.  (And yes, for those of you who noticed, I'm a huge Vikings fan.)  We don't know which one we're getting yet, we want to let their personalities develop, but one of these lovelies will be our new fur baby.

I thought long and hard about this decision, and weighed the pros and cons.  My heart is still broken from losing Rolo, and I'm fully aware that a new dog will never replace him, but the house feels so empty.

Life is full of uncertainty.  What happened to Rolo was a freak occurrence, and the possibility exists that it could happen again--or a million other scenarios could occur.  I live with anxiety and panic disorder, so believe me when I say that my brain comes up with some ridiculous worst-case scenarios.  But I don't let them rule my life.  I can't.  I would never leave the house if I did.  I wouldn't let my family leave the house if I let my imagination rule my life.

My point is that its better to take a chance than live with regrets.  Yes, something bad could happen.  But you know what else could happen?  Something good.  She could turn out to be an amazingly wonderful dog that lives a long life and makes everyone in the family happy.  Her life with us is going to be awesome--no matter how long she's in it.  I'm going to spoil her rotten.

Life can't be about the what ifs.  It has to be about the what happens.  Yes, it's painful.  I will probably worry every day that I own her, but I have to give it a chance.  I can't live in fear.

I'm happy with my decision, even if I'm not completely confident with it.  I'm looking forward to what the future with Siggy will bring.