Taking Risks

As authors, we constantly take risks. From the moment we send out our first query to an agent or publisher, we risk them saying no. Once our book is published, we risk readers hating it and getting bad reviews. For some people, these notions can be debilitating and stop them from ever trying. But for some of us, it’s par for the course. No matter who you are, there will be people who love and hate what you do.

We are willing to take the risks because we love to tell stories. And part of loving to tell stories is wanting to see those stories in different mediums, including on the big screen and on TV.

I was thinking about this the other day, and I thought it was rather ironic. The vast majority of us authors would love to see our books turned into movies, and yet, we are always distressed about how movies are nothing like the books, and in a way, inferior. It’s quite amusing to think about.

What I think the real draw of seeing our stories on the big screen is all the money we’d make, especially if we get merchandising rights. No, I’m kidding—although that is probably part of it. I think the real draw is introducing our story to a new audience. It’s seeing how others view our work and what they take away from our worlds. It’s seeing them being inspired by something we created.

Movies and books are two different mediums, and things can be done in movies that can’t be done in books and vice versa. Sure, I compare books and movies all the time, but that’s an unfair comparison—it’s not comparing apples to apples. Now, I try to look at each medium in their respective rights and understand why the director made the choices they made, but it can still be upsetting when I feel the movies stray too far from the book.

Seriously, doesn’t it seem weird that authors would want their books turned into movies at all?

Again, I think it boils down to wanting to share their story.

Authors take yet another risk when their work is made into a movie or TV show. It could be a resounding success or fall completely flat. Audiences could either love it or hate it. But that is the world of storytelling.

I’ve been trying to get my young adult zombie book into the world of movies and TV shows. A few years ago, I pitched Life After the Undead to several different agents and producers. Nothing came of it, but I met an incredibly nice indie producer who gave me some fantastic advice. The most important of which was that zombie movies aren’t selling right now. Producers are steering clear of them, but I didn’t let that dissuade me.

Within the last year, I decided to try my luck at having Life After the Undead adapted for TV. That involved posting my pitch on a site called TV Writer’s Vault. I researched this site for a long time before finally deciding to take the plunge. The reason for my hesitance was the fact that it costs.

As authors, we’re always told that if something costs to do, it’s not worth doing or it’s a scam. I went into this believing that to be true. After reading about the site and asking questions, I still don’t know for sure, but I told myself I had to take a risk. Besides, someone has to fund the site’s overhead and keep it running, why shouldn’t it be us writers?

So far, nothing has come of having Life listed on the site. A couple of production companies have looked at it, but nothing more. I Googled the companies, and they seem legit, so I’m happy they took the time to look over my proposal.

Maybe I’m not getting any action because I’m pitching a zombie show. I will continue to love the zombie genre, but the rest of the world might not. I’m fully aware that producers have to take calculated risks and go after projects that are going to make them money. Personally, I feel like I have more freedom when it comes to being creative because my livelihood doesn’t depend on my work—I get to create just for the sake of creating, and the royalties are a bonus!

By nature, I’m a cynical person. I always think the worst is going to happen, which means when something good happens, I’m usually surprised. But at the same time, I’m well aware that nothing is going to happen with my books unless I take some risks. While the fantasy of a producer stumbling across my book, falling in love with it, and offering me money to make a movie is a wonderful thought, the chances of it happening are slim. The chances of me getting my book turned into a TV show are slim, but they increase slightly by me putting my work out there.

At the end of the day, even if nothing happens, I can at least say I tried. Sure, taking risks is risky, and the potential for something bad to happen increases, but so does the chance of something good happening. I’ll never know which one it will be unless I take a chance.

I'm Not Worthy

I suffer from many different neurosis, which includes both anxiety and paranoia.  That can become problematic for an author, and let me explain why.

I love creating stories.  The voices in my head refuse to shut up until I've put their story onto paper.  I also really enjoy researching things and putting my findings onto paper.  I love sharing those stories/observations with other people, but it also scares me to death to think that people will actually read it.

Earlier this week, I gave the people who helped me with Undead Obsessed copies of the book.  And I had an internal freak out about them reading it.  I started to panic.  What if they don't like it?  What if I didn't edit their parts the way I was supposed to?  What if they want me to change something?

I talked myself down, telling myself everything was going to be all right.  Later in the day, I delivered a couple of the books, and the professors seemed excited to get them.  As I left, I had second thoughts about giving them copies.  I had to fight every urge to run back into the buildings and take them back.

Again, I calmed myself down.  I spent the night and this morning thinking about the situation and trying to figure out why it was bothering me so much.  After all, these people knew from the beginning that I was interviewing them for a book.  I gave them the courtesy of reviewing their chapters before finalizing the chapters, and I made the vast majority of the edits they suggested.  So why was I still freaking out about it?

As I thought about it more, I realized it was because I didn't think I was worthy to have written it.  I had convinced myself that all the hard work I had done was worthless.  No one was going to like it, least of all the people who helped me with it, and they were going to be angry at me for associating them with the project.

And the truth of the matter is: they could.  They could hate it.  They could be upset to be associated with it, but you know what?  That's their prerogative.  They were given the opportunity before it came out to make changes, and they did.  But at the end of the day, I'm still the author.  I did the best I could.  I wrote what I wanted to write.  I don't need anyone's permission to research and find answers to questions I want answers to.  I'm allowed to write anything that strikes my fancy.

It would be incredibly naive of me to think that everyone in the world is going to like my work, but I can't let that stop me.  I can't be afraid to do what I want to do because someone in the world might not like it.  I can't continue to believe I'm not good enough.

Putting my writing out there is scary, and it opens me up to criticism.  I know that, and I have to be able to deal with it.  For the most part, I can, but the illogical part of my brain, the neurosis, can make it incredibly difficult.  However, there is no reward without risk, and I'm willing to take the chance.  I hope the rest of you are too.