Can’t We All Just Get Along?

I feel like I’ve been reading a lot of negative things lately that pertain to authors and readers/reviewers. The first was about an author attacking reviewers on Goodreads. I read part of it, then had to stop. It was insane. What the author was saying bordered on harassment and threats. Despite the harsh treatment, the reviewer replied beautifully. 

This wasn’t the first time an author  attacked a reviewer for their opinion on a book, and I highly doubt it will be the last. It’s good that these situations are brought to light and other authors can learn from them. Otherwise, the cycle will never stop. And it needs to.

I love getting reviews—whether they are good or bad. It means that people are reading and reacting to my work. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t read reviews, I do, but I honestly don’t do it very often. If I’m sent a link to a review, I’ll check it out. Every once in a while I’ll go to Amazon or Goodreads and check out what’s been written there. But I don’t do it every day.

In addition to the main article, I read a lot of different reactions to how the situation was handled, and I totally agree that every reader and reviewer is entitled to their own opinion—even if I don’t agree with it. There have been times when I’ve wanted to defend my work and respond to a reviewer, but I didn’t. (Well, not directly. I probably passively aggressively replied to it on my blog or to one of my friends, which may not be much better.)

Some people argued that authors shouldn’t have any contact with reviewers at all—not even thanking them for their review. That seems a bit extreme, but at the same time, I understand where they’re coming from. I liked the reviews I received on Goodreads for some of my books (not all), but maybe that was going too far. I liked them all, good and bad, but since I don’t read them very often, how does it look if I don’t go back and like the new ones? Maybe it was better for me to just stay away.

As for the thanking, again, if I’m sent a link and the review appears on their blog, I’ll thank them in the comments. They took the time to read my and give their opinion, it doesn’t take much to say thank you. And I’ve done that for both positive and negative reviews.

So that dealt with an author being a jerk, but the other one I read talked about readers going to the extremes.

The article talked about fandom and the reactions to two specific authors’ work. In it, they talked about how fans can get mean with each other and with the author, sending them threats and telling them they aren’t worthy of owning the characters.

I get this. I really do. If I like a character or world, I become obsessed with it. I think of them as real people, and I get emotionally invested in what they do. Sometimes I get upset and angry if a character is killed off.

The point of writing is to evoke emotions in our readers, and authors love when that happens. It reinforces why we do what we do.

Don’t get me wrong, we all love our readers and our fans. You are amazing and wonderful people, and you’re the reason we do what we do. But if you want us to continue to do it, don’t be violent and hateful. Don’t threaten us.

It scares me to think the lengths some of these readers go to.  (In reality, it’s not a huge amount. But you know the saying: One bad apple ruins the bunch.)  I mean, sending threats? How is that okay? It reminds me of Misery by Stephen King. Which he may have written because he had the same types of run-ins with his fans.

Interestingly enough, years ago when Coming from Nowhere first came out, I asked Piers Anthony (who is one of my idols) to read and review it for me. Much to my surprise, he agreed. But he told that reading his fans’ novels was difficult for him because if he didn’t like it, he could lose a fan and make them angry, which could, in turn, cause them to bad mouth him.

I understood that. It’s definitely a fine line. And he didn’t particularly like the book, but that was okay. He was entitled to his opinion, and I still like him. He’s still one of my favorite authors and made an impact on my writing. To this day I’m still thrilled he actually read the book!

It makes me sad to see this much negativity floating around. And it makes me really anxious. At this point I’m not well-known enough to have these issues, but they make me not want to get to there. They make me want to stay in my small bubble and unknown to the world. They make me want to become invisible.

As authors we put ourselves out there with our work, and we open ourselves up to criticism. Most of us know this and can handle it. It’s part of the game. But there’s a difference between creative criticism and being hateful. And no one—neither readers nor authors—should be subject to the vitriol.

I love the passion that both readers and writers are capable of, but keep it civil. We’re all humans, we’re all imperfect, but we can still be nice to each other.

The Squeaky Wheel

As a parent, I've spent a good part of the last 7 and 5 years trying to instill in my boys that whining won't get them what they want.  I find myself saying over and over that life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean it's bad: they just have to deal with it the best way they can.  But I often wonder if what I'm telling them is wrong.

Several years ago at work, my coworker had an issue about something, and it involved how I was doing my job.  I honestly don't remember the details of what it was, but I remember it was something that was written as policy and had been done long before I worked there.  I was following the rules, so I was confident that I would be right and things wouldn't change.

This person went to the boss and whined about how they didn't like this policy, so it was changed--just that one time to accommodate this person's complaint.  I remembered being shocked, surprised, and angry. Apparently, since this person complained loud enough, they got their way.  And trust me, this wasn't the last time I'd seen this in action.

Lately, it seems like I've read numerous articles about authors acting badly.  It certainly isn't the first time they've done this, and it won't be the last, but what I find fascinating is how we deal with it.

The most recent article dealt with an author who went on a Twitter rant about how she was snubbed from a prestigious list (I'm purposely not linking to it).  She was whining that her book was as good or better than the vast majority of the others on there.  Personally, I don't know.  It very well could be.  My point is that her whining got her exactly what she wanted: attention.  Articles, blogs, and opinions were written about her.  People are talking about what she's done.  Who cares if the attention is negative?  What's that saying about bad publicity?

Her rant probably won't get her on the list, and sure, she may lose some fans, but she may gain some too.  She may make people think:  "Hmmm, that was unfair for this poor girl.  I'm going to buy her book and read it and form my own opinion."  No doubt she has her supporters who are also crying foul play.  Either way, people will remember her.

I get it.  I really do.  I've never been snubbed from a prestigious list, but I've dealt with agents/editors/publishers who won't answer emails, who just don't seem to "get" my work, and who have rejected me for the dumbest reasons possible.  I've had reviewers give strange and unflattering reviews, and I've totally taken to my blog to "vent" about it.  And I was looking for the same thing as this other author: attention, validation, and support.  And I got it.  For whining.

We're all human, and we all get frustrated.  And technology makes it easy for our voices to be heard and for people to instantly react--whether good or bad.  She's right: as authors, we do pour our hearts and souls into our work, we dedicate hours and hours (sometimes years) to getting it finished, and when it's done, we want to be recognized for our hard work.  We want the world to pat us on the back and tell us how amazing we are.

But we have to realize that the world probably isn't going to recognize us the way we want it to.  And that sucks.  It's not fair.  But when has life ever been fair?  Like I tell my boys: we have to deal with the unfairness the best way we can.  And yet, if you complain loud enough, long enough, you may just get what you want anyway.  The squeaky wheel does get the grease.

The biggest complaint people made about this author was that she was acting entitled and like a spoiled brat.  They said she needed to be thankful for the praise she had already received on the book.  Basically, she needed to focus on the positive things that had already happened for her.  And maybe she should.  I know I definitely try to do that in my own life, but for some, that's just not good enough.

You can't fault them for wanting more, for striving to be the best.  Again, it's what makes us human.  Fault them for trying to attain those goals in the wrong way--and for the way we react to it.  Even kids learn at an early age what will get them attention and what won't.  Even if it's negative attention, if it gets a reaction, they'll continue to employ those tactics to get what they want.  Perhaps the next time an author starts whining and throwing a temper tantrum, we should do the same thing we do with kids: ignore them.