For the past few months, I’ve been struggling to find time to do anything besides work. Then, like that, I have nothing but time. So what have I been doing with my new-found time?
Well, I go through a range of emotions on a daily basis—from anger to sadness to hurt to annoyed to worried to acceptance—sometimes in multiple cycles. I’m trying to stay optimistic and look at the bright side, but it’s been difficult to do. I worry a lot about what the future is going to bring.
One of the things I’ve done to try and cope with the situation is look at it like a rejection. As an author, I’m used to getting rejections. I’m used to people telling me no. While it’s distressing for a while, it usually motivates me to pick myself up and move on. I can mourn the rejection and be upset by it, but it doesn’t define me. It’s not who I am, and it drives me to prove that I can be so much better.
It helps looking at it from this perspective, but my self-confidence and self-worth have been shaken. My pride has been wounded.
I’m not one to sit around and do nothing, but there’s only so much I can do right now. I’m doing what I can and hoping for the best. If you want to send some good juju my way, I’ll happily take it.
So far, I’ve gotten up every morning and worked out, then showered and got on the computer. I’m trying to keep a schedule so I don’t fall into a funk. I feel like I should take this time to clean parts of my house that never get cleaned, but I’m working up to that.
Since I have so much time on my hands, I’ve been able to get through edits for Humanity’s Hope and get those sent back to the editor. It felt good to do something productive. Perhaps I can use that momentum to make up for the last few months and get some more writing done. Perhaps this is a good time to look into marketing and PR.
Above all else, I need to keep my head up and realize that this doesn’t define me. Rejection of any sort doesn’t define me; it only makes me stronger and more determined. Sure, it’s tough and I might cry every so often, but I can’t give up.
