I became a full-time freelance writer in October 2018. I also worked from home as a full-time editor for a few months back in 2016. When I was looking for a traditional office job after moving to Nebraska, I filled my time with freelance gigs. It’s safe to say that I know what it takes to work from home.
I’ve always been self-motivated. Getting work done from home has never been a problem. I have kids and pets, so staying on a schedule has never been a challenge. I had to be up to make sure the dogs were fed, and then I had to get the kids to school.
The pandemic has impacted that.
I still have to get up and feed the dogs, but once they have been taken care of, I don’t have to worry about getting the kids up and ready for school. Instead of staying awake, I head back to bed.
At first, it was really nice. I’m not a morning person, so I enjoyed being able to get a little more rest before I started my day. It helped me feel refreshed and focused.
I still go back to bed after feeding the dogs, but now it feels like getting up is a burden.
At first, I told myself that I needed to get up by 8:00 am to get started on my work. Now, I’ve pushed it back to 8:15, but even then, I wonder if it’s necessary to get up that early. Most days, I spend several minutes contemplating if I really need to get up or if I can stay in bed for a little longer. While I (thankfully) still have work to do, it has definitely slowed down.
My anxiety also isn’t exactly sure how to deal with what’s going on, so I have days where I swing back and forth between a full-body anxious buzz and the edge of a full-blown panic attack.
Every so often, I also have an existential crisis.
I find myself wondering what it all means.
Why is this going on?
Is humanity really that bad?
Why is humanity so bad?
Will things ever go back to normal?
Were things really normal in the first place?
How is this going to change life in the future?
And the questions go on.
I have to force myself to get out of bed and get to work. I can’t see the reason for staying on a schedule to get things done, especially when my tasks don’t fill up my entire day.
This, of course, leads to more laziness and lack of motivation. I do my best to stay active. I get outside when the weather is nice and hang with my boys, but some days it’s incredibly challenging.
Having the boys at home and keeping them on task is incredibly challenging as well. Not only do I have to keep track of my assignments, but I have to make sure they are getting their work done as well. It’s too easy for them to ignore or “forget” an assignment, so I literally have to loom over them to ensure they get it done.
I get it: they’re kids. They’re going to get out of as much work as possible. This is a learning moment, a way to teach them how to be responsible and self-motivated and develop a schedule.
But it’s exhausting. My schedule is falling by the wayside, and now I’m expected to keep them going?
I know I’m not the only one going through this. I know a lot of people are struggling with the changes right now. Many are asking questions that don’t have any answers. Many are losing motivation and feeling tired.
I’m a work-at-home pro, and I’ve been doing it for a long time, but this pandemic is taking a toll on me. There are so many uncertainties, and that causes a lot of stress.
Since I’ve struggled with depression for the vast majority of my life, I can’t help but wonder if a lot of these feelings are because I’m spiraling downward. Who could blame me if I was? The world has been turned upside down. Life as we know it has been forever changed. That’s tough for anyone to deal with.
There are no easy answers right now. All we can do is keep on keepin’ on. If you’re having a hard time with life, know that you’re not alone. Working from home and dealing with kids is exhausting. Remember to take some time to take care of you. Even if that means getting out for a walk or watching a show you really enjoy. You deserve it.
If you have found some ways to cope and stay motivated, share your insights. Your idea may be just what someone else needs to get through these uncertain times.
