This week was much better than last. Most of my frustrations last week were due to lack of sleep and feeling overwhelmed. It also became apparent to me that I was focusing my energy in the wrong place. Once I redirected it, I felt a lot better.
I spent the vast majority of last week editing Undead Obsessed. It needed to be done, and I think the book is getting whipped into great shape, but when I wasn't working on that, I was freaking out about whether or not an agent was going to like it. I was impatient for them to get back to me. I would check my email 800,000 times, then get upset when there wasn't anything new in there. I was exhausted from worrying about things I had no control over.
This exhaustion made it hard to do other things. It made me lose self-esteem. I questioned my ability to write. I actually didn't want to write--I was too tired. I allowed myself a little break (and had a bit of a pity party), then I mentally slapped myself and told me to snap out of it. Then, I forced myself to sit down and put pen to paper. (Yes, I sometimes still write the old school way.)
Oh, my gosh. I can't tell you how good it felt to get words down on paper. I had convinced myself that I wasn't good enough and that I should just give up, but working on my chapter was cathartic. It made me realize that I was wasting too much time looking for and worrying about agents when what I really needed to do was write. It reminded me what I liked about the process.
My goal for next week is to focus on what makes me happy. I'll deal with the other stuff when I have to.
