In today’s society, there is this notion that if you are overly emotional, you are weak. If you show anything less than a stoic and unwavering façade in the face of pain or tragedy, there’s something wrong with you. You are more valued if you have a cutthroat and unrelenting personality than if you are kind.
This is bullshit.
One of the things that makes us unique as humans is our ability to feel. Yes, sometimes our emotions can get the better of us, but when we learn to embrace and recognize our emotions, they don’t become so overwhelming.
In the last few years, I have done a lot of soul searching and self-reflection. Some of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I’m an INFJ and a highly sensitive person. People hurt my feelings. The world affects me on deep levels.
For the longest time, through the words and actions of others, I was taught that my feelings weren’t valid. I couldn’t express my true feelings or thoughts. If I did, there was something wrong with me. I was crazy or overreacting. I learned to keep things bottled up. I kept my mouth shut.
Pushing feelings deep down inside and pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make them go away. In fact, all this does is create a time bomb. At some point in time, those feelings are going to explode out of you. From experience, I know that it doesn’t happen at the most opportune moments. And it’s usually not directed at the people it needs to be directed at.
In addition, unexpressed emotions can turn into depression and anxiety. Living with these is much more challenging and debilitating than taking a few moments to cry or be pissed or laugh hysterically. These take a much larger toll on your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
I’m tired of pretending I don’t feel. I’m over hiding my emotions. Yes, I’m highly sensitive and I can get upset easily. But you know what? I’m entitled to my feelings. There’s nothing wrong with me for having those emotions. More often than not, I will be upset, sad, or angry for a while, and then I’ll let it go. And this is a healthier way to deal with these problems.
I’m also done with people who tell me I can’t feel my feels. If they get upset or angry because I’m crying or have hurt feelings and they lash out at me, that says more about them than it does about me. I have no desire to be around people like that anymore.
I’ve encountered them through all stages of my life and in various places, including the workplace. They are exhausting and frustrating and hard to be around. More than likely, they have denied themselves their feelings, and they have no other outlet for their emotions. They are trying to maintain their stoic and unemotional façade. They are trying to keep from blowing up.
They won’t succeed. It takes a lot of energy to keep things pushed down and hidden away. Something will give, and it won’t be at an opportune moment. They may be able to refrain for months or even years, but they’ll eventually crack.
Every emotion is valid. Every feeling deserves to be recognized. Nothing in this world lasts forever, and sadness, anger, happiness, and all the others come and go. Life is too short to not feel what you need to feel. I’m trying to live my life like that every day. If people think that makes me weak, that’s fine. You’re not my people.
I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. I am highly sensitive. I am overly emotional. I cry at movies, TV shows, and sometimes commercials. I get angry with my friends and others when they are disrespectful and rude. In time, I get over it. I move on. These are all the things that make me, me. I’m not going to deny who I am anymore. And I don’t need anyone’s approval to do that.
