Alone vs. Lonely

There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone. You don’t have to have one to have the other. Sometimes you can feel both at once. Alone is when you are by yourself. For some people, this is the preferred way to live. A person can be alone and not feel lonely.

Being lonely is the feeling that no one else in the world cares. It’s the belief that no one understands what you are going through and that you must suffer by yourself. This can happen when a person is alone, but it’s also something they can feel when they are surrounded by a crowd of people.

Whenever someone is hurting, whether it be from depression, anxiety, or another ailment, it can feel like they are alone in this world. Despite the cries from others that say, “I’m always here for you, you just reach out and let me know how I can help,” reaching out isn’t always easy.

Most of us who suffer from a mental illness, including anxiety and depression, know that there are others who feel the same. We know that there are millions of people in the world who struggle to get through their days, and we know that there are others who are willing to help us through our tough time.

But this doesn’t stop the feelings of loneliness. It doesn’t make it easier to reach out to others.

There can be so many different reasons why a person keeps their feelings bottled inside. Maybe they don’t want to burden their friends and family with their issues. Maybe they don’t know how to explain what they are feeling. Maybe they don’t want to talk about what’s hurting them. Maybe they haven’t received the emotional support they need.

Talking about mental health issues isn’t easy. A stigma surrounds these problems. Despite the fact that there are so many people who suffer from these problems, most people think they have to suffer alone.

This leads to loneliness.

Humans are social creatures. We thrive being in a group and hanging out with others. We often form deep attachments and feel a loss if those relationships go away.

When dealing with depression and anxiety, it can be hard to form relationships and interact with others. Anxiety will tell you that you’re saying something stupid and that you’re embarrassing. Depression will take away your energy and desire to hang out with friends and family. When they don’t call or text, it will tell you that they never really liked you anyway.

How do you voice this to someone without sounding needy? How do you let them know that you just need a little bit of reassurance and empathy?

For some, you may be able to come right out and say it. For others, it’s not that easy. Most people don’t want to look needy. That’s not a great quality to have. A lot of us also have problems asking for help when we really need it.

If we can’t have the connections with others that we want or need, that leads to loneliness. We don’t have to be alone to feel this. We can be at a social gathering and feel like we have nothing in common with the people around us. We may not be alone, but we definitely feel lonely.

Anxiety and depression are ailments that are experienced on an individual level. There may be some common traits associated with each, but how they manifest in an individual will vary. Each person deals with these issues in their own way. Because the issues stem from our own mind, it can be hard to explain to others exactly what we are going through. This further compounds loneliness.

Most people who suffer from mental illness are aware that there are others who want to help them, but being able to vocalize what is needed can be challenging. They may not know themselves.

On top of that, there’s a notion that no one can really help us with our problems anyway. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who have to find a way to cope and get through the anxiety or push through the depression. We can talk about it with others, but we’re the one who ultimately has to find a way through the pain.

This can make it even more challenging to open up to others. If they can’t do anything to fix the problem, what’s the point of bringing it up? Besides, they’re busy. They have their own lives and issues. They don’t need to deal with ours.

This can isolate you even further. It can push you deeper into anxiety and depression and make you feel even more lonely. It’s a vicious cycle. One I wish I had a way to break, but I don’t.
Pembroke Sinclair's books on Goodreads
Life After the Undead Life After the Undead
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The Appeal of Evil The Appeal of Evil (The Road to Salvation, #1)
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Wucaii Wucaii
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Death to the Undead Death to the Undead (Sequel to Life After the Undead)
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Dealing with Devils Dealing with Devils (The Road to Salvation, #2)
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ratings: 32 (avg rating 4.00)