Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I'm Pretty Sure I Crossed the Line

First of all, I would like to point out that I created a Facebook page for Life Lessons from Slasher Films.  If you get the chance, go like it.  My goal is to publish some fun questions on there and keep you updated on my other progress.

Speaking of "other progress," I came to a conclusion the other day.  Well, actually, I came to it a while ago, but I voiced it out loud recently.  I'm insane.  Pure and simple.  I know a lot of my friends and family will be nodding their heads in agreement, but I'm not talking about my quirky, lovable insanity, I'm talking really insane.

If the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results," then I'm absolutely crazy.  Every year I query agents to see if they want to take on my latest book, and every year I get a slew of rejections.  Yes, yes, I know that's par for the course, but why do I continue to do it?

I write genre-specific stuff, which means there's only a few agents out there who accept my stuff.  Well, I'm sure I've queried the majority of them at least four times now.  And every time they've said no.  So, isn't it crazy to think they're going to like my next/latest project?  I know, I know, it only takes one yes to make a world of difference.  However, I can find that yes with one of the indie publishers I work with.

I know I probably sound defeated and depressed and like I'm giving up.  In a sense, I am.  After receiving my third rejection in 2 days, I decided it's not worth it to me.  I don't like feeling like I'm spinning my wheels or grasping at straws.  I'm never going to play with the big six, and that's fine.  I'm very happy being a small potato and working with small publishers. 

By the way, just because they are "small" doesn't mean they are bad or unimportant.  The publishers I work with pride themselves on putting out wonderful work and strive to give the world fabulous stories, so I'm not settling.  In fact, I would like to think I'm keeping my publishing fate in my hands. 

So, for the sake of the little bit of sanity I have left, I'm giving up trying to find myself an agent.  I will continue to write and publish my stories, but it will be on a smaller level.  *sigh*  That was incredibly freeing!  I feel like 10 pounds of stress and false expectations just fluttered away.

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