Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Support System

It's been a bizarre couple of weeks. My schedule has been screwy because we've had family visiting (I've enjoyed hanging out with them, but you know how I am with my schedule), and there has been some very emotional occurrences going on around me. They haven't affected me directly, but they've been situations where I feel so bad for the other person, I wish I could do something to help ease the pain, but there's nothing I can do.

Due to these happenings, I haven't felt like myself. I haven't been sleeping very well at night, and I'm quick to get angry. As you can imagine, it's been ever so pleasant in my household! The kids will definitely have something to talk to the psychiatrist about!

Yesterday, I had a bit of a meltdown. All the stress and irritation came to a head, and I decided I was going to take it out on my publisher. I've told you guys the story: the waiting, waiting, waiting to hear something about when my book is going to be released and the waiting, waiting, waiting to get a reply to emails. Well, I drafted an email that I was going to send to her. I tried to make it as nice and professional as possible, but given my attitude, it came across as an ultimatum.

Before I emailed it to the publisher, I sent it to my spouse and my friend for their opinion. Thank goodness Tamara and my spouse are so level headed! They understood my frustration, but they also pointed out the downside of sending that email. It could have possibly labeled me as a "difficult author" (which I try not to be, but I'm sure I am) or I could have lost the publisher, neither of which I really wanted. I decided to wait a little longer, take some deep breaths, work on some other projects, and hope things work out. I saved the email, however. I still might need to send it.

Despite the craziness that has been going on, it was really nice to know that I still had people I could go to, people who could give me an honest opinion and keep me from doing something stupid. We all get mixed up with our emotions. When it comes to my writing, I get very defensive about it, so I tend to have knee-jerk reactions to things. I need to learn how to take a step back and look at things from all angles, but I'm working on being happy, so that will have to wait. One thing at a time. My head might explode otherwise!

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