Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Fudge Incident of 2010

My parents have a schipperke named Simon who is about 10 years old. He's a funny little dog. He loves it when us adults come home. He stands at the top of the stairs, yipping and barking his greeting. If you don't get upstairs fast enough, he's starts whining and making his barking more insistent, like that's going to hurry you up. When he sees you, he jumps on you, then puts his little paws together and waves them through the air like he's begging.

As much as he's excited to see us, he's not particularly fond of the kids. He tries to hide from them, and when that doesn't work, he snaps at them when they touch him. I don't worry that the bites will hurt because, like most small dogs, he has problems with his teeth and actually had most of them removed. Plus, the kids need to learn not to mess with him. I've told them multiple times, but you know how well kids listen.

Simon also has horrific allergies. He's allergic to poultry, chicken and turkey, and cotton. Cotton! Whoever heard of a dog that's allergic to cotton? Isn't pretty much everything in the world made out of cotton? I think he allergic to pollen and trees, too, among a few other things, but I don't remember (yes, my parents actually had him tested, and they showed me his little book that listed all of his allergies. That was years ago, though, and I have more important things to worry about!).

After Mom and I got home from the mall, the boys and I went into the kitchen to have lunch. After our meal, we decided to have a piece of fudge for dessert. (Oh, it is the best fudge ever! If you've never had Fanny Farmer Fudge made by my grandma, you are soooo missing out!) Remember, we were in the kitchen. I mentioned that Simon doesn't like the kids, until they have food. But since he's allergic to everything, we have to be very cautious he doesn't get anything. Anyway, the 23 month old had his piece of fudge and was walking across the kitchen floor to see me, and accidentally dropped it. As expected, the dog swooped in and sucked it up before you could blink your eye.

The 23 month old starting crying because he wanted his fudge, I was yelling because the dog had it, and my mom was in the living room trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Once I figured that scrumptious, melty piece of chocolate sugar was gone, I tried to go on with my life. Not my mom. Now it was her turn to start yelling. She pointed out to me that chocolate was poisonous to dogs, which (duh!) I already knew, but I pointed out to her that he didn't eat that much (and, in reality, it varies from dog to dog. Some it can affect profoundly, and others might not be affected at all. However, in most cases, it takes quite a bit of chocolate to actually poison a dog). Besides, it's not like my child did it on purpose.

The next thing I knew, she was putting on her shoes and getting out Simon's leash. I asked what she was doing, and she told me she was taking him for a walk. I just shrugged and walked off. I didn't know what she thought a walk would do, but if it made her happy...

I went into the kitchen where my dad was, and he just kind of looked at me. He said, "Your mother is very stressed right now, she'll be fine later." (Side note: My mom is the church organist, and she had the Christmas Eve service to do that night. According to my dad, she always gets like this beforehand, but I have no recollection.) I told him that if they were that worried about it, we could squirt some hydrogen peroxide down Simon's throat and make him throw up (I don't recommend doing this without talking to a vet first or being outside. From what I hear, it's pretty much instantaneous vomiting). He said that was probably a bit drastic and that everything should be fine (honestly, I wasn't worried, I was just trying to be proactive).

After the whole ordeal, the dog turned out to be all right. He didn't even have an allergic reaction. And, my mom was fine after the church service and a glass of wine. Aren't the holidays such a magical time of the year? Nothing like getting together with family for a jolly good time!

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