Monday, May 7, 2012

Movie Review Monday

Haywire (2011)

This movie had a lot of big names in it:  Tatum Channing, Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton.  Then, it had Gina Carano, who used to be an Ultimate Fighter and American Gladiator.  I like all of those actors, and I think Gina is a kick-ass chick, but, sadly, the movie wasn't very good.

I would never mess with Gina in the octagon.  She would whoop my butt in about 2 seconds flat.  However, she isn't a very good actress.  I'm sure it will come to her in time, but it was almost painful to watch.  The same can be said about Tatum.  That man is hot, but he shouldn't open his mouth.  The scenes between the two of them were torture!

The movie is about a black ops soldier (Gina) who is betrayed.  As you can imagine, she wants revenge for those who wronged her.  The movie is my type of film:  there is a plot (albeit a cliche one) and the promise of lots of action.  Yet, the presentation was messed up.

The film started in medias res, and most of the action took place as a flashback.  I have no problem with that kind of setup, but the person Mallory (the character Gina plays) is telling the story to should have a larger role in the film.  It opened a lot of plot holes and made the film confusing.  First of all, if she's so good at what she does and goes on covert missions, why would she tell some random, 19 year old stranger about the people she killed and put him at risk?  Then, why would she tell him to tell other people and the police?  Like that's going to save her?  Like they are going to help her?  She still had to take the bad guys out on her own. 

That whole setup also skewed the notion of time.  Eventually, I think we moved from the past into the present, but I couldn't be sure.  It was so very confusing. 

There were also a lot of empty scenes in the movie, too.  By empty, I mean shots that don't further the plot of the film.  For example, there's this 5-10 minute chase scene that showed a lot of Mallory running.  I don't want to see her running.  Get to the point.  There were also some scenes of the special operatives cleaning guns.  They had a small conversation, but nothing of importance.  Why put that in?  Again, get to the point.

The film was only 1.5 hours long, and maybe it only made it to that mark with these empty scenes.  I don't know.  The soundtrack was also weird.  There wasn't a lot of music in the film, and most of the fight scenes were done with the "real" sounds of people hitting each other.  That's fine.  It lends itself to a more gritty, natural-type film...if you do it right.  Again, I'm not doubting Gina's fighting ability.  You can tell she's got some moves.  Still, the scenes seemed forced.

I suppose if you're really bored, a huge fan of any of the actors in it, and don't really have high expectations for a film, this movie would be all right.  Like I said, it's only 1.5 hours long, so only a fraction of your life would be wasted.

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